China is a big Douche Nozzle fa ra ra ra rahhh, ra rah rah rahhh

The Chinese government filters Internet traffic to stop people from viewing things that they disagree with.  For this, they are Nozzle-tastic!

 

 

http://www.iht.com/articles/2008/07/30/business/olymedia.php

 

 

Definitive proof that Fox News is a `bottom'

I can't believe this story!  It goes beyond what I thought was feasible.

 

The Bush administration regularly delivered "talking points memos" to Fox news to make sure their coverage was agreeable to the White House.  As the woman interviewed points out, this is illegal.  The government is not allowed to control the press for any reason and this is exactly what they did.  On top of that, the whores at Fox went along with it. 

 

Did we a get a clip?  Oh ok, roll the clip Jimmy...

There are so many reasons why this is wrong I don't even know where to start.  I am far from a political alarmist, but this is cause for alarm.  A goverment that controls the press is able to bury stories, spin them however they want and spread lies.  This is the same crap that went on in the former Soviet Union as well as in countries like China, Iraq under Saddam, Myanmar, Libya, etc...

 

Kucinich is right!  It's time to impeach Bush regardless of how much time is left in his presidency.  We should not allow this behavior to go unpunished!

I thought weed and chips worked well together?

This is a classic case of dumb-fuckery!  I love this guy.

Bush: 'No regime should ignore the will of its own people.'

'Nuff Said

In a statement regarding new sanctions against Zimbabwe today, President Bush declares that "no regime should ignore the will of its own people":

The regime has also continued its ban against NGO activities that would provide assistance to the suffering and vulnerable people of Zimbabwe. No regime should ignore the will of its own people and calls from the international community without consequences.

TPM's Eric Kleefeld notes the irony of the Bush administration, which proudly ignores public opinion in the United States, instructing other countries to listen to "the will of its own people." Kleefeld suggests that the administration look at "the direction of polling data at home — not to mention international opinion — showing that people want a timetable to withdraw from Iraq."

I have nothing to add to this!

...Then The Law Is An Ass!

Un-earned sense of entitlement + Judicial system =

http://www.wsbtv.com/news/16966088/detail.html

HALL COUNTY, Ga. -- The jury has awarded a Hall County woman $150,000 after she sued her former fiance for calling their wedding off.

RoseMary Shell sued her ex-fiance, Wayne Gibbs, after he broke off their engagement in 2007.

Shell argued her fiance's promise of marital bliss amounted to a binding contract. She said she left a high-paying job in Florida to be with Gibbs and she said she has suffered financial losses since their break-up. She also said she has suffered emotionally.

Gibbs testified that he had taken Shell on trips and paid $30,000 of her debt while they were engaged. He said when he found out she had even more debt, he canceled the wedding by leaving Shell a note in their bathroom.

Closing arguments were heard Wednesday morning and the jury awarded Shell $150,000 by Wednesday afternoon.

"People shouldn't be allowed to do that and hopefully he'll think twice before he does it to someone else," said Shell.

OK, leaving a note in the bathroom was a serious douche nozzle move, I must admit, but honestly? $150,000.00? He paid of part of her previous debt and then finds out she's been hiding even more? In love, you're supposed to be honest... about the big things at least, and debt is a big thing. She claims to have left a high paying job in Florida but she still had that kind of debt. Makes you think twice.

I am sorry her feelings got hurt and all but she is a Douche Nozzle!!

I feel sorry for the juror in the video who gave in and voted with the majority to award the settlement. She clearly is unable to hold her own in a room full of idiots! Oh well.

The Douche Nozzle Of The Day award has to go to everyone involved in allowing this bullshit to go to court and then for her to actually win! Aren't judges supposed to know better than this? Isn't this why we elect them at that level?

Work titles are the "grade inflation" of adult life

I should just leave this post with the subject and let it float in the mist like a nugget of Lao Tzu. Well that's really kinda pompous of me to compare myself to that great Philosopher, but whatever.. you get my drift I think.

Grade inflation is what happens when any one or more of the following are true:

• Parental expectations exceed the limits of their spawn's natural abilities or desire
• Unreasonable metrics are applied to classroom performance expectations
• Schools attempt to lure prospective students with phony claims of achievement (mostly private schools)
• Schools attempt to make their student population look more attractive to colleges (see 3.)

All of these scenarios have one thing in common. They all exist to bolster the arguably false hopes of someone, whether students, parents, administrators, etc..

Titles in business are basically the same thing. They are a bone that managers throw at you to make you think they have real confidence in you. Conversly, they satisfy your need to feel important.

For those of you reading this, ask yourself the following question:

• Did my promotion to Director/Supervisor/Coordinator/etc... come with a considerable pay increase?

If you didn't know that being promoted to "Director of __________," was all designed to keep ol' Lumberg from having to pay you more, sorry... you've been had!

For those of you who have been laboring with that title and doing a great job, there's more bad news for you. The proliferation of bogus job titles has peed in the pool! People with half your talents and brains are out there looking for the plum jobs that you deserve!

Hope this brightens your day!

The News Is Not Good

A striking and rather upsetting realization came to me while watching the O.J. trial and I continue to be struck by it when reading the news: In a jury trial, the most important things a lawyer can do is a: find a jury made up of the most credulous morons the municipality can dredge up, and b: repeat something as often as possible until the jury starts to believe it, based not on proof, but simply because they've heard it so many times. How fucking sad is that!

Thanks to our spineless politicians and the ad revenue-obsessed news media, the general public falls for this shit over and over because no one has the balls to call a spade a shovel.

It's a sad commentary that all these years after the dark ages and the time of kings, the jesters are still the only ones who can speak the truth without reprisals. John Stewart and Stephen Colbert deliver perhaps the most trustworthy news on television. And they thought they were doing comedy.

Blue Laws: making me feel "not so fresh"

The county in which I live is chock full of christian conservatives.  Decades ago they voted to make it illegal to purchase alcoholic beverages on Sunday, doubtless because it was "the Lord's Day."  These kinds of legislation are called "Blue Laws."

Blue laws are stupid.  There is not one good reason to have them.  I am "free, white and 21", if I want to have a malted beverage on a Sunday its no one's business.  It's also not constitutional to enact legislation that supports a groups religious beliefs.  To protect religious beliefs is different, but these laws are in essence forcing retailers to comply with the religious beliefs of a segment of society 

I can't even imagine one cogent arguement in support of these laws. 

Fortunately the county right next to us does not have the same laws.  You can buy alcohol after Noon.  Aparently it's OK to get hammered after church but not before.  This is stupid because drunk people get all maudlin and tip really well.  The drunk tithe is a tithe without consideration of tomorrow or budgeting.  I say, go for it!! 

The irony of this is that no one that I know thinks these laws are a good idea!  The politicians are all too afraid to take on any law, no matter how ludicrous, if there is the slightest chance that they might be associated with the negative aspect of it in any way.  Vote to repeal blue laws and you're an alcoholic.  Strike those laws about oral and anal sex from the books and you become a gay, child-molesting, rapist/pervert.  WTF?!?

 

This is Douche-baggery at its finest!!

 

 

Epic _______ = Epic Fail!!

Is it just me or is it time for the adjectival use of the word "epic" to die? The terms "Epic Win!!!" or "Epic Fail!!!" are now being attached to the most mundane accomplishments. It's gotten pretty ridiculous.

An epic win is when when the Greek army sacked Troy, or when Ferris Beuller manage to hack into the WOPR using a handset modem and a bunch of programs written in BASIC to play tic-tac-toe and change his grades. It is not an epic win if you mod your laptop to look like a Donkey Kong console.

One of my personal least favorites is when people refer to another person's post as epic fail because they don't agree with it. "Your understanding of the issues involved in hacking the X-Box are epic fail!!"

OK people! It's time to move on dot org and come up with a new term.

July 16: The Obamas are not Muslim terrorists!!

Have you seen this photo?

Are you offended by this?  Do you think this is an insult to Muslim Americans and Michelle and Barack Obama?

If yes, then YOU are the Douche Nozzle of the Day!

Why are you the Douche Nozzle?  Because you have decided to ignore the context of this photo and be offended based on its content alone.  This image, for those of you who don't already know, is a swat on the fanny of the dipshits on the Fox TV show "America's Pulse."  Anchor E. D. Hill referred to the fist-to-fist "pound" as possibly a "terrorist fist jab."  I can think of no one in their right mind under the age of 70 who would interpret that gesture in that way.  This was clearly just another in a long string of examples where Fox uses innuendo to put ideas into the heads of its gullible viewers.

Here is the clip:

That Fox didn't terminate Ms. Hairdo for this is a crime.  But they didn't.  She made a lame apology a few days later and they "forgave" her.  Bullshit!  She probably got a bonus for slipping it in.  (that's what she said)

 Back to you and why you are a DN.  If this offends you, as I said before, this is because you have chosen to ignore the context.  If you are old enough, you were probably offended by Randy Newman's "Short People" as well.  

When exposed to something that seems outrageous you must ask yourself, "WHY it is outrageous?" In some cases it simply is.  For instance, I know a guy whose eBay acquaintance referred to himself as being "busier than a black fag at a hotdog stand."  Now that's offensive!  It's also funny as hell!  Absurdidy in abundance.  I don't think I should have to go into why this is so funny, you either get it or you don't.  

There is a sleeping Buddha, a sitting Buddha & a laughing Buddha among the others.  Life is about moderation.  Enjoy the things that are absurd.  That's what humor is all about and that's why there is a laughing Buddha.

So now I leave you with this light-hearted joke my friend told me yesterday;

What's black and blue and hates sex?

The ten year old girl in my trunk!! 

July 15, 2008 Jesse

Today's Douchenozzle of the day award goes to Jesse Jackson for his astounding footbullet on Fox News. (A place he should never have stepped foot in in the first place!) I am a few days behind the event but this is my first post and this still eclipses all since so...

Here's the clip: (steeples his fingers)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_valZekCk0&feature=related

This blowhard has been irrelevant for 20 years! He should take his ill-gotten gains and slink off to some forgotten corner of the country where he can drink unicorn's blood to regain his powers.